"During the bounteous unfurling of youth every man of sensitivity and intellect surveys all of sublime creation within and without, necessarily becoming an eye all-appraising, a craving manifest -- he wishes to be Superman or Cyclops from the X-Men. But as he ages, the ripened wisdom pluckedfrom the fields of knowledge by all from Heraclitus to Kantdispenses with this craving and replaces it with another-- there are many heroes who shoot lasers from their eyes, but it is perhaps the greatest heroes of all who have lasers shot at theirs."
--- Ralph Waldo Emerson ---
Were you aware that Yonge Eglinton Laser Eye and Cosmetic Centre in Toronto offers special rateson laser eye surgery for HEROES? No? Well, we do.
For centuriesone question has baffled those with nothing better to do: what makes a hero? A hero is not asreadily discernable from the slovenly multitudes as one might think. Take the classic example of the caped do-gooder. Sure, he can defeat unpleasant people with names like Dr. Planetcrippler, but his fondness for spandex and wearing undergarments on the outside of his clothing make him an object of ridicule and make us question his sanity. And what about the man who rescues a cat from a tree? He seems like an obvious hero. But what if he butchers this cat and feeds it to a starving Neo-Nazi?
I can sense your brow furrowing, inquisitive reader -- theseare questions in which a thousand moral entanglements present themselves simultaneously. Luckily Dr. David Rootman and our sundry corneal specialists, great thinkers all, resolved to banish these questions to the realm of answerhood some time ago. They retreated to the Bunker Philosophicus, a spheroid marvel ofsubterranean architecture dedicated to pure thought, located just above the Earth's mantle and several miles directly below our location at 2345 Yonge Street. They emerged a few hours later with a definitive list of heroes. Great job, brainboxes! Here is the result of theirhard work -- and if you're a member of one of these groups or subgroups, you can get laser eye surgery for $250 off the regular price per eye! Wow!
- Emergency Response Workers
- Public Works
- Professional Courtesy
Optometrists & staff
Opthalmologists & staff
Physicians & staff
Immediate family members of above
- Seniors ( age 60+)